The Gift of Fear

The Gift of Fear

Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence

Book - 1997
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True fear is a gift.
Unwarranted fear is a curse.
Learn how to tell the difference.

A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust--and act on--our gut instincts.

In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger--before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including...how to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being stalked...how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.


From the Paperback edition.
Publisher: Boston, MA : Little, Brown and Co., c1997.
ISBN: 9780440508830
9780316235020
0316235024
Characteristics: 334 p. ;,24 cm.

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m
meggerltgrey
Aug 06, 2016

This book is so helpful at helping ones to understand violence and how we unintentionaly add to it by glamorizing it.

m
MauxBoyle
May 20, 2016

Recommended in Amy Poehler's book.

b
BlueberryGirl000
Mar 10, 2015

Incredible book, I plan on buying my own copy.
Clear writing style.
Author passionate about and experienced in subject matter.
Loved it!
(I gave it four stars rather than five because I am a female firearms instructor and disagree with his feelings on firearms)

rowanquincy Feb 28, 2015

Excellent book full of good advice. I plan on buying my own copy.

r
rjkegley
Jun 13, 2013

Every young woman should read this book...

r
Rock_Shadow
Oct 19, 2012

Worthwhile book for everyone to read; it not only helps to deal with people who might be dangerous, but it offers insight and advice on scary co-workers and employees. Some excellent advice on how to recognize the signs of violent or dangerous behavior. Also, very easy to read book full of helpful stories.

LauraGrowNyberg Jun 11, 2012

An absolute must-read, but slightly dated. I would buy a 2012 edition for so many people I know.

2
22950011069879
Mar 28, 2012

This book is truly a gift for anyone who is tormented by fear. Fear is truly a gift, it will save you if you heed it. The book became a compulsive read from page 1 through 300.

j
Janice21383
Mar 25, 2012

Few books are "essential reading" (On the Origin of Species? The Boy Scout Handbook?) The Gift of Fear is one of this exclusive company. Far from being a wicky-wacky New Age production (see virtually all books listed in this catalogue under "intuition"), it is a guide to using your own good sense and good judgement to avoid life's pitfalls, and to overcome the forces of denial. Mr. de Becker examines the topic not only as a government and private security adviser, but also as an abused child and juvenile delinquent. On top of this, The Gift of Fear is well-written and entertaining, in a dark way.

2
2rhino
Mar 03, 2012

A book about your intuition. How to again listen to your body giving you a signal. Invaluable to everyone.

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b
BlueberryGirl000
Mar 10, 2015

pg 64: “’No’ is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you.”

b
BlueberryGirl000
Mar 10, 2015

pg 69: “Remember, the nicest guy, the guy with no self-serving agenda whatsoever, the one who wants nothing from you, won’t approach you at all. You are not comparing the man who approaches you to all men, the vast majority of whom have no sinister intent. Instead, you are comparing him to other men who make unsolicited approaches to women alone, or to other men who don’t listen when you say no.”

b
BlueberryGirl000
Mar 10, 2015

pg 58: “We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning. Like rapport building, charm, and the deceptive smile, unsolicited niceness often has a discoverable motive.”

j
Janice21383
Mar 25, 2012

My childhood wasn't a movie, of course, though it did have chase sequences, fight scenes, shoot-outs, skyjacking, life-and-death suspense, and suicide. The plot didn't make much sense to me as a boy, but it does now.

j
Janice21383
Mar 25, 2012

We want to believe that with all the possible combinations of human beings and human feelings, predicting violence is as difficult as picking the winning lottery ticket, yet it is usually isn't difficult at all. We want to believe that human violence is somehow beyond our understanding, because as long as it remains a mystery, we have no duty to avoid it, explore it, or anticipate it. We need feel no responsibility for failing to read signals if there are none to read. We can tell ourselves that violence just happens without warning, and usually to others, but in service of these comfortable myths, victims suffer and criminals prosper.

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